Time flies When Your Having Fun - Really?!?

We have been having a lot of fun around here...  

               but it doesn't make the wait for our adoption "fly"!

So what kind of fun stuff? 

• My parents came out twice! They recently retired and have been on vacation for months now. They rented a condo for 3 weeks near the beginning of the year. It was wonderful, they were only a block from the beach and had beautiful ocean views. Then they traveled some more and recently came back for two weeks. 
• They bought a house only 5 hours away (verses 5 states). Which means we can go visit for weekends!
• I thoroughly enjoyed my Easter break from school! Loved having a whole weeks vacation... can't wait for summer!
• My brother came out and stayed with me during my Easter break to hang out with his favorite sister and nephew!
• I had a very fun birthday party! The most amazing thing about my party is this: my husband arranged it all and asked people to donate to my plane ticket to Rwanda instead of gifts. My friends were so generous! The support I feel is huge! God has blessed me genuine friends - I am truly grateful for the people God has put in my life. They are the REAL DEAL!
• My wonderful husband surprised me with a stand up paddle board for my birthday- he is horrible with surprises so I still can't believe he pulled it off! Watch the video :)

We still haven't heard anything about our adoption. I'm asked at least once a week by someone (if not more) what's going on with the adoption. All I say is, "I'm still waiting, waiting, waiting... but there has been movement!" I continue to hear of families recieving their non-objection letters (a letter from the Rwandan government saying they approve you to adopt) and referrals (information about the child they have matched you with to adopt). I've heard they are in the 80s and we are 143, so still a way to go. I thought this Summer would be the latest we would wait, but it seems like Fall will be the earliest. Now, I'm just hoping it all happens before our home study and everything else starts to expire (it has a year shelf life). Please keep us in your prayers and for things to happen sooner rather than later! Thanks!

In the mean time, I've been spending my "free" time helping put together curriculum with our church for adoptive parents. It's sort of a how-to on parenting children from hard places (like orphanages or foster care or other difficult situations). It's what I have been doing instead of posting on my blog-lol!! I'm really thrilled about it. One side benefit is that all this knowledge is saturating my brain. I'm so grateful for this outlet, I couldn't think of a better way to wait! Such a blessing from God. He has been so good to me.

More Changes Ahead

I've been praying about going to Rwanda before our adoption is completed. We still don't know when that will be and I was thinking of going there on a mission trip. I wanted to go and serve the people from where my son is from to give back to the country. Our church is very involved with Rwanda and has at least a half dozen trips planned this year. I thought it would be awesome to experience, learn and serve my son's birth county and it's people. I hadn't decided anything yet, I was waiting for God to give me a clear answer.

I go my answer. It's a no. Here's the crazy, new reason why...
I just got a unexpected email today from my adoption agency. Apparently, Rwanda will now be requiring all families to be present in Rwanda to sign the Act of Adoption document that must be submitted to court to request a court date to finalize an adoption. This use to be something a Power of Attorney would do on our behalf and we would only have to travel once (later in the process). This document is submitted to the court to request a court date to finalize the adoption. It's sort of a complicated process (I'll spare you the detailed steps involved in the in-country procedures because I don't fully get them even thought I have it spelled out in an email!). It can take a few weeks between the signing of the Act of Adoption document and getting your court date. Therefore, we will have to either stay during the wait or travel twice. If you stay the whole process from arrival to departure could be 3-5 weeks, which includes your exit trip through Ethiopia to get your child's visa.

God answered my prayer about going on a mission trip to Rwanda while we wait. It's an obvious no! This unexpected news adds new complications. I'm glad God answered my prayer but not sure what to make of these new changes. Thankfully, tomorrow is our monthly conference call with our agency. I am looking forward to better understanding what this means to us and what our options are. Rwanda is relatively new to international adoption and we are considered "pioneers" in this process. We knew going into our adoption that it was highly likely Rwanda would change things along the way. Early in the process, I came to terms with the fact that I'm not in control of the process or timing. All I can do is go with the flow and rely on God for the rest. Here is a link to the post I wrote regarding this "letting go" struggle: Where the River goes, I flow

Birthday Blues, Eating and What's Next?

Celebrating our nephew, Sean's 17 bday and our son, Gaven's 9th!

Birthday Blues
My son turned 9 years old this past week. His birthday brought a sadness to my heart - not about him getting older or anything - but about my son in Rwanda getting older without us. We are all longing to have him here and celebrate our lives together everyday. My son talks about him, I talk about him, my husband talks about him. We are so excited to have him come be part of our family and can't wait!! My son's birthday was just a reminder of time ticking away. He was 7 when we started this process. It's been about a year and a half. Our paperwork has been in Rwanda about 5 months now.

Part of what makes it hard is we don't know what to expect as far as a time line goes. From what I've heard Rwanda is processing dossiers in the 40s (we are 143) but we don't know how fast/slow things are going. After they approve a family,  the paperwork then goes over to the orphanage to match a child(ren) with the family . Then the paperwork goes back to the government to start the adoption process. All this is done by 3 people (it use to be only 1 lady doing all this work but they have recently hired 2 more staff). AND they are trying to structure their HAUGE status simultaneously.... all this is why we have no idea what the time line is. I thought we would be matched and ready to travel in April or May... but now I'm hoping summer at the latest... I pray "please Lord soon."

I took this picture just for fun while I was waiting for the presentation to begin.

Eating
I took a class for my continuing education as a Dietitian on kids with eating issues. It was great! I learned a lot of helpful tools on how to expand a picky eaters diet. There was a lot of collaboration, with several of the participants from local feeding clinics. I had no idea of how many kids have problems related to eating for such a variety of reasons. Two of my favorite ideas that could be used for any kid trying new things are a check list & dog bowl and chaining. Here's a brief discription:

• The check list & dog bowl (side note- these are my own titles just to try and summarize in an easy way they are not the professional used names): If you are trying get a child to try a new food you allow them "x" number of times they can scrap the food item into the dog bowl instead of eating (keeping track on a chart they can check off). This allows the child the opportunity to tolerate the food on their plate before scraping it off. Then you can progress from there, depending on the child and the number of times necessary before they can tolerate moving to the next step. (You should never make food issues a battle, it should always be fun and playful. You do not want to risk them going backward and limiting what they eat even more if they already have a limited food list.) Then you could try touching to your mouth without tasting it "x" number of times or touching to your tongue (without having to eat). Then putting in your mouth and getting to spit out - you can have a lot of fun with this skill ;) You can teach them how to hide it in their dinner napkin... who hasn't done that as a kid! Then they need to do one chew and can spit out. Then two chews, then three chews.... you get the idea. These are things you would try slowly at the child's pace- do the same step over and over "x" number of times until they are ready to go to the next step. 
• Chaining: This was a great tool for kids who are brand or color specific (did you know some kids will only eat foods that are a certain color) . Basically you try and start expanding their food list by finding the same food item in a different brand (you can apply the above method of getting use to) then jump to a similar style or color of same item. It probably sounds confusing the way I described it but it's just using baby steps in adjustments.

What's Next?
My husband and I are super excited about a trip we are taking next week to our adoption agency, Gladney. They are hosting a free two day workshop for their parents who are adopting older kids (or have adopted older kids). One of the cool things that Gladney is doing for the parents they invited is giving them a credit on their adoption fees if they attend - basically reimbursing them for the travel expenses. How cool is that?! The other really cool thing - my husband is thrilled to go! I know that may sound strange but he is not a class taker kind of guy yet he was the one who first said we should go. I think it will be a great experience for us as a parenting unit. I'll try to summarize and post some of the golden nuggets we get... I tend to post a lot more entries in my head than actually typed entries to my blog - lol!