Monday, March 29, 2010

False Peak on Mount Paperwork

Ok, so I hit a false peak. Do you know what that is? If you are a backpacker you probably do... but I'll explain it in case your not a hiker (or don't hike in mountainous areas). A false peak is when you are hiking toward a mountain peak that you can't see from where you start the hike. As you are happily hiking along you see the peak... or at least you think it's the peak. Your spirits soar and energy is renewed as you make your way to the top. Then as you summit you realize the peak you are on isn't 'The Peak'. You definitely made it to a mountain peak but in the distance you see 'The Peak'. The one you are on is just a smaller (false) peak that was blocking the view of 'The Peak' behind it. It's always somewhat of a joy killer when you are hiking and this happens. A short break is usually required to recapture your energy and spirits. This is how I hit my false peak on Mount Paperwork: Since we are coming to a close on our home study and I've done everything required for both our agencies (our home study agency, God's Families & our international adoption agency, Gladney) I naively thought we were done with most of the paperwork. With nothing to do (lol), I opened a file from my case worker entitled Rwanda Dossier Manual. That's when it happened, that's when I realized I was on a false peak. As I read the file, my energy slowly drained from within me as I realized I had to do a third round of paperwork- paperwork that I had already done twice! I thought, for the Rwanda dossier, I would be compiling paperwork I had already done. Wrong! The Rwanda government needs original copies of everything, just like the state of California, just like the U.S. government... of course they do! Only makes sense- right. So last week was hard to shake. I had to take a break. The beauty of the whole thing and the beauty of how God's timing is perfect, is that I had a fun trip already planned for last week! My mom invited me and my sister-in-law to a long-arm quilting retreat in Utah. It was very intense and gave me no time to think about the adoption and all the things I would have to do (again). It was great to see my family and a great break for my spirit. I am rested and excited to hike this path again!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Paper Chase... coming to a close?

We are coming to the end of our paperwork "lists". I'm waiting for a few more documents from other sources to come in, my husband to redo his livescan fingerprints (they sent them both to the same place instead of the 2 different places we wanted them to go), his DMV records and we have to do a few more pages of information for our agency regarding child preferences. We plan to hold off on the child preference forms a few more weeks- I think it will be near the end of what we need to turn in. We are still praying about some big decisions regarding preferences. We have been praying about adopting two children together (whew, I said it!). I'll write more about that later- if you are a person of prayer, perhaps you can pray with us about it. We also have to finish our required educational training. Each of our agencies are asking for different classes (covering basically the same materials). I'm trying to coordinate with both agencies and figure out what courses can transfer to the other agency so we don't have to do 22 hours of training! One agency requires 10 hours, the other 12 hours. Every course and certificate has a cost tied to it so we would prefer not to duplicate our material! After that's all done, the next adventure is our home study interviews and opening the document sitting on my desktop screen entitled: Rwanda Dossier Manual! That's the document we will compile and send to the Rwanda government once everything here is done. I feel good about where we are with everything. My husband says I'm starting to "nest" and it's true. I'm already thinking about how we can reorganize our house to make it better for more kids. I figure that will be a way to keep busy after we finish everything, send off the dossier and are just waiting for our referral. A referral is when you receive a child matched to your preferences... basically your future child's information.

Monday, March 8, 2010

An Early Suprise & Answer to Prayer!

Yeh!!! I got my birth certificates!!! I had to get them through the state and I sent off for them in Dec., in Feb they sent a postcard saying it would be another 18 weeks. I would've held up our whole adoption process! I've been praying daily and asking others too - praise God they are here! :) Thanks to all who have prayed with me.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Pregnant Without the Belly

This past weekend I went with a few girlfriends on a woman's retreat with my church. It gave my emotions time to play catch up with what is happening (our adoption). Adopting takes up so much of my energy and metal focus. Any extra mental space I have is used up thinking about paperwork - who I need to contact, composing emails, following up with phone calls, organizing and making copies of everything - administrative stuff. Being on the retreat, away from cell phones, email and my file box allowed my brain and heart to connect. It sounds strange but I fell in love with my child this weekend. I was so swept up in the tenderness of my heart towards our future child that it catch me off guard. I have been thinking about it and this morning decided it was like being pregnant but without the belly. You know when you find out your pregnant but you don't know what your having yet... that's a good comparison. I thought a lot about my child, wondering what they were doing, praying for his/her safety, food and stimulation. I am a mom of a second child somewhere out there.

On Saturday the speaker spent some time talking about how God is our heavenly Father and what that can mean to us. During this time, I thought about how I wanted to love on my future child and reflect all the love God has poured out on me back onto my child. I want to be the loving parent for my child the same way God has been a loving parent to me. Today, I came across this Bible verse and thought it was fitting. "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18  God adopted me into his spiritual family, He came to me with open arms of love. I want to be this Bible verse for my child. I send up prayers that echo the verse "I will not leave you an orphan, I will come for you." I wish my child could hear me the way a child inutero hears.